The Vomitorium of Dr Cassanell

Strange brew at this mornings playgroup session and I'm not just talking about the coffee.

During the sit in a circle sing song some lovely woman led the group through a nursery rhyme greatest hits. I was in fine voice during 'The Wheels on the Bus' and 'Incy Wincy Spider' but when she added a mystery verse to 'Ba Ba Black sheep' and then went into an extend version of ' Row,Row, Row your boat' I was completely thrown. I know it's been a while since I was a nipper but I swear row your boat never contained a line about a crocodile. Don't get me wrong I encourage creativity but if you're going to add your own twist to an old classic, it would be helpful if you passed around a few lyric sheets otherwise you'll get a room full of puzzled looks and mumbling.

Flynn hasn't been in the best of spirits so far. His razor teeth are ripping his gums to smithereens and it's obvious he's in major discomfort. He manged to throw up all over himself, a large stuffed snake and the leg of an innocent baby who was quickly whisked away by her mother.

If you have a problem with liberal amounts of a vomit I suggest you think twice about having children. Most days I'm covered in the stuff and granted, some of it is my own but the lions share is undoubtedly the milky white produce of Mr Flynn Cassanell.

I'm back on the cigarettes full-time. My flirtation with clean living lasted less than a week which was a poor show indeed and though I should hate myself for being so weak willed. My amazing powers of denial are much stronger than my self loathing. I'll give it another go tomorrow and even if I only manage to abstain for a couple of days, at least my lungs will have had a bit of time off which is never a bad thing.

Anyway. That wasn't the most exciting of posts was it? Maybe I'll drink a bottle of Gin and pipe some crack tomorrow. Substance abuse is much more inspiring than stomach contents and though the social services would probably not approve of my methods. I won't tell them if you don't.